Saturday, May 8, 2010

Digging Out - Physically and Emotionally

Unless you've been under a rock, you're aware of the devastating flood that happened last weekend here in Nashville. It's been surreal, and it's really hard to fully grasp the full impact of what happened. Here's my experience.

Saturday, May 1st, 2010 was rainy. Just to put it simply. I still got up and started my day as usual, Aqua Zumba at 8:30, then singing with the old folks at Bethany Nursing Home at 10:00. After that I went home, trying to decide if I wanted to go the grocery store and then have to schlep all my crap in from the car in a torrential downpour. I decided to brave the weather, but I wanted to drop the dog off with my mom first, since she was TERRIFIED of the storm, and I felt bad for her. On the way there, I started to get a little worried about the amount of standing water on the road. I finally got to my mother's, dropped off the dog, and drove over to the place where I had to pick up something for Husband. I went back to my mom's, and tried to decide if I should come back home. A friend called (who lives on the other side of the creek) and said that the creek was really rising, and I should stay put. I just wanted to get home and see for myself, so I braved the roads yet again.

The drive home was more than nerve-wracking. I had to take a detour since the intersection of my street and a very major road was underwater. I then knew it was getting bad, and I started my downward spiral of panic. I was already crying when I pulled into the driveway, and saw that the water from the creek had already crossed over the fence and was in the yard a significant amount. I called my husband and the landlord, since I had no idea what to do. Both of them were trying to get to the house, but were stuck on the next street over in traffic, since it, too, was underwater.

Full panic sets in. 10 minutes after I get home, I see this:


More panic. I begin frantically throwing everything from the garage (which has been finished into a sunroom-type area, where we keep exercise equipment, a TV, washer/dryer, patio cushions, etc) into the house. I can't even begin to describe the frantic state I was in, literally throwing things into the house. I call my husband again, and look out to see this, only 10 minutes after seeing the above:















I send him that picture to his cell phone, and he tells me to grab the dog and get out. (But to pull the main breaker out before I leave...very smart man.) He can see the rapidly growing lake in front of him that will soon block the only way out of our area, and at this point, we have no idea how high the water will get.

So I take out the breaker, and run through the house trying to think of, "If I could save just one thing, what would it be?" I draw a complete blank, and like an idiot, I grab the checkbooks. I have no idea why, but it's dark in the house, torrential rain, and by this time, the water is already in the garage. It's fair to say I wasn't thinking clearly. So I grab the dog and my purse, run to the car (out the front door, since the water is already at least ankle-deep in the garage and even deeper outside the door), and drive uphill to my grandparents' church.

It's lightning outside, so I don't want to sit in the car. I run to the church, and a janitor lets me in. They're supposed to be putting on a play that night, so there are lots of people in the church. I'm standing around holding Lucy and trying to answer the 1000 calls I'm getting on my phone when a security guard approaches me. He informs me that I'm not allowed to have a dog in the building. I tell him that I had to evacuate my house, and I'm waiting on my husband to arrive. He says, "I understand, ma'am, but you can't have that dog in the church." I'm being thrown out of the church. He stands there and holds the door open for me while I am beyond-hysterically crying, and he tells me I can stand under the carport to wait for my husband. I stand out there until Husband shows up, and call my pastor. He says that if we can get down the road, my church is open, and my pup is more than welcome. (I also called my grandmother, who was livid about me not being allowed inside, and she told me she called and let her feelings be known.)

We brave the standing water and get to Antioch to my church. The pastor and his daughter are there, and we sit down in front of the TV to see what's going on. Husband takes the car to see if we can make it the rest of the way down the road to my mom's house, and during his attempt, he sees the portable classroom come off its foundation and start to float away. Yes, the very same portable classroom from the video that floated down I-24 and was destroyed. He decides then that we probably won't make it to my mom's that night.

This is getting long and rambly, so I'll just say that we stayed at the church until the power went out, and by then the rain had slacked off to just "pouring" instead of "Biblical", and my next-door neighbor said the creek had gone down a bit, so we decided to go home. We were able to stay there Saturday night, but neither of us slept, since every raindrop sent us to the window to look at the creek. Add tornado sirens to the mix, and you've got a sleepless night. We packed a bag, and were ready to go when we decided that it was too dangerous to stay. That decision came around 8:30am on Sunday, when our power went out, and the rain picked up again. A fantastic couple from my church offered their house as a safe haven, so we went there and stayed all day Sunday. The rain finally stopped, and we were able to go home to find out garage/sunroom full of nasty mud and wet carpet...indoor/outdoor carpet, thank goodness! We left it and decided to just go to bed and deal with it in the morning.

My alarm was set for 7:15am, so I could meet my grandfather, who was going to loan us some clean-up supplies. I never got that far, since V12 called before 6:00 to tell me that T-Bird's dad passed away, suddenly, earlier in the morning. This came as a huge shock, as both her parents were doing better. I get up and rush to the hospital to find T-Bird completely devastated. I knew I had a mess ahead of me, so I couldn't stay. I hated to leave, but my grandfather was waiting on me. I came home and helped Husband and Landlord clean up the mess in the garage, and then went to T-Bird's house to be with her.

The rest of the week was just a blur...water restrictions, back to work, horrifying pictures and video on the news, stories of complete devastation and death, and T-Bird's painful grieving. The weather has been beautiful, which seems cruel, in a way.

I haven't been able to really get a hold of my feelings...I've had so many from sadness to anger to anxiety to fear. I haven't wanted to be at work at all, just at home hibernating. I know that isn't healthy, and I'm trying not to succumb to the depression. I'm pushing through it, doing what I can where I can. I'm having such a hard time allowing myself to even feel bad for myself at all. There are people here who have lost everything they own...they were only able to escape with the clothes on their back. And T-Bird lost her father...I still have my father. So, it's hard for me to deal with my own flood damage. I start to feel the slightest bit inconvenienced, and I beat myself up since I only had a mess to clean up. I don't have a mountain of waterlogged possessions at the curb, waiting to be taken to a landfill. I'm very lucky, and I have to keep reminding myself about that every day.

Last night, V12 and I met T-Bird and her friend from out west at a restaurant to have a burger and a beer. We (me, V12, and another friend I'll call The Saint) had a gift for her, and we gave it to her...a dragonfly necklace. V12 found a beautiful poem relating a grub's transformation into a dragonfly to the passing of a loved one, and T-Bird liked it a lot. She seemed to be in a good place, even if she is grieving.

So here I am, Saturday, my favorite day of the week. I'm cleaning up the mess in my house, and I'm thankful if just a mess from a week of me being too busy to clean up, and not a flood-related mess. I'll take a mountain of dirty laundry and dishes any day. Life goes on. I don't really have anything else to say, so I'll just close with some pictures of the flood aftermath. First ones are of my house and the neighbors' houses. The last ones are of the "Old Church" which used to be where my church lived, back when my grandfather was the pastor. The building is over 100 years old, and it's withstood many, many floods. I think this one has done it in, though. Very sad. Say a prayer of thanks today, folks. We all have lots to be thankful for.


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