Having-No-Children Perk #1: Fabulous Vacations

I seriously feel the need to point this out right from the start: I'm definitely not knocking anyone's choice to have kids. I'm merely trying to justify my childless existence. From time to time, I'll feel the need to explain how I can still manage to live with myself without a child. Really, it's the whole reason I blog. Validation of my choice to be childless.

It's no secret that I love to travel. Last year was a whirlwind of vacations, and before anyone starts raising eyebrows about "disposable income", let me just say that I only paid for two of these vacations. The rest were either courtesy of someone's incredible generosity, or hard-earned on the back of my sweet husband. I would never have been able to go to these place if I had a little one. They were too boring or just plain too inappropriate for children, but FUN FUN FUN for me!! Enough talking...let's make with the pictures.

#1: December 27, 2008 - January 2, 2009
VEGAS, BABY!
(Believe it or not, what happened in Vegas really did stay in Vegas...we forgot to take ANY pictures!)

#2: April 3, 2009 - April 15, 2009
Germany!
My brother and sister-in-law (to be!) are both in the Air Force and are stationed at Spangdahlem AFB in Germany. They were super gracious and flew me out to visit them in 2008, and then again last year. This trip was the ultimate "I don't have kids, so let's travel!" vacation. It was planned and executed in 2 weeks. Never could have happened if I had to arrange for care for a little 'un! (And I have to mention that I went without Husband. Poor Husband. He's the best for agreeing for me to leave him behind yet again, since I also went the first time without him!)

#3: October 31, 2009 - November 7, 2009
Caribbean Cruise!
I love cruising. That is no secret. Husband and I planned this one while he was convalescing after sinus surgery. Our friends went with us (who we also went to Vegas with), and it was their first time cruising. We left from Ft. Lauderdale and cruised to Key West, Grand Cayman, and Ocho Rios (Jamaica). It was wonderful, of course. I can't wait to book my next one. As I mentioned, I'm planning one for September of next year with T-Bird and V12, but Husband and I need to go on another one VERY soon. If you can spot a recurring theme in these pictures, you get 20 points. Also, I feel the need to mention that the World Series was going on the week we cruised, and we were lucky enough to see the Yankees beat the Phillies to win the Series. So exciting!! (Another fun fact...I'm a HUGE Yankees fan.)

#4: December 7, 2009 - December 11, 2009
Maui, Hawaii!!
This all-expenses-paid extravaganza was earned by my fabulous husband through his company. He was the #1 store manager in his district, and the top three managers earn a spot in the President's Club. It just so happens that the President's Club is held once a year in a fabulous tropical locale. In 2009, it was Maui! We arrived on Pearl Harbor Day, and the next day was our day to roam about on our own. Of course (being the history nerd that I am), I opted to fly to Oahu and visit Pearl Harbor. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, not just in going, but in going so close to the day. All the wreaths were still there from the ceremony the day before. It was amazing. My grandfather has always wished he could visit, so I made sure to take lots of pictures for a scrapbook I put together for his birthday, which was the following week.

While that was definitely a huge highlight of the whole trip, I have to say, that the whole experience was just wonderful. They don't call that place "paradise" for nothin'! It was beautiful, the weather was perfect, the whole atmosphere was perfect. Words just can't even begin to describe, so I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Now, when I hit the lotto, this will be but a mere taste of what my travel schedule will look like. And nowhere in my plans are trips that include talking cartoon characters, or road trips in a minivan with a DVD player. Not that there's anything wrong with those things...they just ain't for me. Not by a longshot. In my opinion, it isn't a vacation if I have to touch a dirty diaper or wipe a snotty nose. Is that selfish? Maybe just a little. But I work hard...I deserve to completely relax and unwind on vacation. I like adult beverages, I enjoy child-inappropriate destinations and activities, I relish the thought of doing uninterrupted naughty things with my husband. (I totally apologize for any mental images that may conjure up.) I know there are those who believe that children would only enrich my experiences, but please let me disagree with you. It's not that I don't like kids...I just don't like them on my vacations.

Triple Grande Dark Cherry White Mocha, Non-fat, Extra Hot, No Whip.

Or, "How to Make My Morning Great!"

(I realize this picture bursts my anonymity bubble, but really...only my friends deserve anonymity.)

It's really kind of pathetic how easy I am to please. For Christmas this past year, the only thing I asked for was a giganto Starbucks gift card, which I received. And when I say giganto...I mean...more money than I thought I'd EVER spend in a lifetime at The Bucks. Yeah well...it lasted until the first of March.

Some days, I feel like I'd rather drive my car into an overpass abutment than drive the rest of the way into work. (How's that for dramatic?) It's those days when I stop to order an overpriced cup of what I consider to be the nectar of the gods. I definitely feel shame, as I am one of those douchebags who takes 10 minutes just to order a drink, but come on guys, I'm paying $5+ for it...I want what I want. Don't judge me. Anyway, today's coffee was courtesy of T-Bird's sweet friend from San Diego who deemed it necessary to reward V12 and I for taking such great care of T-Bird during her ordeal. Totally not necessary, but very sweet of her nontheless. Thanks, S!

So yes, I'm here at work, but I'm drinking a triple grande dark cherry white mocha, non-fat, extra hot, with no whip, and I have my iPod set to my favorite playlist (PLEASE remind me to post about that...as if you needed more reasons to think I'm completely lame), and I might just make it through one more day. I need the paycheck, after all. (Those vacations won't pay for themselves, you know!) Evidently, I'm really good at hiding the fact that I would much rather be a spoiled trophy wife, because I received a glowing annual review yesterday afternoon. HA! Fooled them.

Only 4 more days until I can escape into my weekend fantasy world with Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte, and best of all...Big.

Hear that? No? EXACTLY.

I love Saturdays. Today, especially, since there are strong storms predicted. I got up and started reading a little of my (overdue) library book, ate a homemade stuffed pepper left over from Thursday night, made some coffee. The windows are open, it's thundering, it's raining...what more could I ask for? Granted, I have a shivering, terrified weiner pup on my lap, trying to climb as close to my face as possible, but that really only adds to the contentment.

Anyway, I love the quiet. The only thing I love more than the quiet is Sex and the City, which has started a new cycle on HBO On-Demand. It's the first season, and Carrie is just meeting Mr. Big. I would just like to say that I am totally in love with Big. He's pretty fantastic. Hey Big, if you're out there, and you happen to be reading...you're pretty effing sexy. Thanks for making my rainy, quiet Saturday totally perfect.

Well, I didn't win the lottery.

But someone did! It's back down to $20 million. Dang. Right before my alarm went off this morning, I dreamed that all my numbers hit except for the Power Ball, and I won $445,000. Then I woke up...damn.

I got a shower and got dressed and sat down at the computer to check my numbers, and the first two matched. My heart stopped, for real. But then my dreams were crushed yet again. I'm still poor. In fact, I'm $5 poorer since I bought the lotto tickets. Oh well. NOW'S the time to buy tickets...no one is interested in a measly twenty mil.

So here I sit, at work, not rich. This blows, man. What's a girl gotta do to fall ass-backwards into a pile of money? Am I asking too much? No, I don't think money would buy happiness. I'm already happy. I just want to be happy and driving a badass car instead of sitting here typing out meeting minutes. Again...too much to ask?

Happy Administrative Professional's Day!

Have you hugged your secretary today?? Last year during AA Week, I got $300 in gift cards from the people I worked for. This year I got a sweet card and a $25 gift card. Let me tell you...I don't miss the crazy gifts at all. It is SUCH a joy to work in a department where I know that we're here to do what we're here to do. I got so tired of party-planning and back-patting.

Anyway, it's also my sister-in-law-to-be's birthday, so happy birthday, SILTB!!!!

One more rant...I'm snotty and sneezy today. Thanks, crap insurance company, for deciding that you know better than my doctor by refusing to pay for the only allergy medicine that works! I realize that generic Allegra may be cheaper than Clarinex, but there is a REASON I wasn't already taking Allegra. Maybe, just MAYBE my doctor and I have worked through my allergies for years and have figured out that nothing else works. JUST MAYBE by the process of elimination of every allergy drug out there, we have found that Clarinex is The One. But no, it's cool.  You know best. Go ahead and force me to take Allegra.

Rant over. That's all I've got for today.

No Excuses

So last week was a bad week. A PHENOMENALLY bad week. I was thrown off my still-sorta-new weight loss routine, but I didn't mind one bit because my friend needed me. This week, however...I'm out of excuses. T-Bird still needs my support, but not nearly 24/7 support like last week.

It's been somewhat easy, since eating like garbage and not exercising made me feel nauseated and bloated. But it's a whole different ballgame in my head. I still want Pasta Carbonara Alfredo, and I still want McDonald's, and I still want turtle brownies and chicken fingers and potato skins and fried cheese and various other junk foods. And I DON'T want to take time to go to my exercise classes. I'm tired, I just want to go home. But I will power through this. I've got several people I have to account to on this. My friends and I do a weekly weigh-in on one of their facebook pages, I've joined The Healthy Train (courtesy of Bobbi from bobbi + mike photography on their blog! Still don't know how to make links. I suck.), and I've written to my favorite radio morning show, Free Beer and Hot Wings. They've dubbed themselves "The Fittest Radio Show in America", because they've all started P90X. And they love to ridicule fatties. So if I fail, I have to deal with that. I have plenty to keep me motivated.

In the meantime, I still convinced The Husband to go eat Chinese buffet last night. So not worth the calories. What the hell is wrong with me? I knew it would suck...I knew I would regret it. But still I went. I have no willpower. I need to work on that.

Anyway, I've lost 6.2 lbs since the end of March, and 13.2 since getting back from Hawaii in early December. This is all in my quest to lose 100 lbs through diet and exercise alone. Wait...I need to edit. I've lost 2.6 lbs since the end of March, b/c I gained 3.6 back last week. Oh well. I'll take it. T-Bird was worth gaining 3.6 lbs back.

I'm not really sure where this post is going, other than to whine about how I'm hungry and all I have to eat is rabbit food. So, to sum up, I'll post a picture of the scratch-and-win ticket they gave us at the Chinese buffet last night. The rules are definitely easy to follow.

Monday AGAIN...

Well here we are!! It's Monday all over again. T-Bird got good news about her parents this morning, so that makes the day good. I'm not thrilled about being at work, though. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my job, I just wonder why I don't just wake up independently wealthy.

The lotto is up to $252 million...and every time I drive by the billboard, I mentally spend my winnings. Don't judge. You've done it, too. Since this blog is, evidently, about nothing in particular, here are some things I would spend my lotto money on. Keep in mind that I would take the lump sum, so $252mil would turn in to something like $110mil or something equally ridiculous. My husband and I also joke that if we won that much money, we would get divorced. We love each other, and we've decided that we would absolutely still be friends. In fact, we'd probably buy houses next to each other, we just wouldn't have to be married. I fully support his need to be a filthy-rich man who goes around banging 18 year old hooahs. So...there's that. So we'd split it down the middle, so I'd have roughly $50 million to piss away. (And let's assume I invest it wisely so I'm living off the interest forever. It's all about the assumptions and not real life.)

1.  Endless vacations. I'd be rounding up my friends and I'd take a cruise at least once a month. On the fancy cruise lines, too...not just Carnival. I am a Carnival-Junkie, don't get me wrong...but mostly b/c I can afford them. Trips to Hawaii, Europe, everywhere. I'd never be home.

2.  Even though I'd hardly ever be home, I'd buy houses just about everywhere. Of course my mama would get a brand-new house with new furniture and an interior decorator.

3. New cars. Mama, of course, would get the car of her choice. Probably my brothers, too. I'd get a BMW convertible...not unlike this one. In fact, EXACTLY like this one:

4.  Charitable donations. I have several I'd give hefty amounts to. I'd probably give a huge chunk to Vanderbilt so they can finally build the Women's Hospital addition to the Children's Hospital. I'd have to have some kind of wing named after me, of course.

After those things, I'm not really sure. It gets fuzzy. I'd be broke in a couple of years b/c I'd be so generous. Anyone who needed anything I'd just give it to them. I'd be broke, but I'd be hot driving around in that little convertible!

My Puppy is Awesome

Short post today. I'm tired. Brownies in the oven...weight loss FAIL. Here's a picture of my pup!

Yes, she's wearing a a Snuggie. That was a gift from her Jew Cousin. She hates it, but I love how she hates it...so here we are.

Hope Monday is a great day.

ETA: I thought I should clarify, I do have a cousin who happens to be Jewish, and she, herself, refers to herself as "Jew Cousin". So it's okay if I do. I am not a racist. I love the Jews!

I am SUCH a slacker...

Yeah, I'm supposed to be going to Aqua Zumba class this morning, taught by my good friend Abby. It starts in...11 minutes. My ass is on the couch posting for you fine folks instead. It's been a long week, y'all. And my Saturday is definitely packed already.

EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES

So one of the things that you'll learn about me is that I'm on a quest to drop some tonnage. Major tonnage. The kind of tonnage that most people have surgery to get rid of. I'm trying to do it on my own, though, and it's tough. I was doing really well (6.2 lbs lost!) until some unpleasantness came up that put a serious kink in my routine. I realize that this week will soon just be a blip on the chart, but right now in the midst of it, it seems like a massive FAIL. But, I'm willing to sacrifice my progress for a bit to be there for a friend in need. And boy is she in need. The kind of need that will require me to make from-scratch alfredo sauce for Angel Hair Carbonara (or, Coal Miner's Pasta, as we've dubbed it) tonight. If T-Bird needs CMP with crazy-fattening alfredo sauce, then that is exactly what T-Bird will get! With a heaping side of Nurse Jackie on DVR.

Anyway, last week while I was waiting on my water aerobics class to start, all these sweet blog-worthy thoughts were swirling in my head and I thought, "I really need to get started on that." Now that I have...I got nothin'. I think it's because of Project T-Bird's Parents. Lack of sleep, worry, and needing-to-do-something-itis have robbed my brain of all the interesting things I have to say. I suppose I'll have to resort to some general get-to-know-you type information. Which, I suppose, is appropriate since I'm new around here!

So, without further ado, here are 25 fact about ME!

1. I live in Nashville, TN.

2. I will be 30 this summer...and believe me, that will be blog material for certain.

3. I've been married since September 2007, and we only have one "child", of the four-legged and furry variety. (Lucy the Dachshund)

4. I am a full-fledged, card-carrying, blog stalker. Once I figure out how, I will definitely have one of those nifty lists somewhere in the side bar.

5. I am a TV junkie, and no doubt there will be posts about my favorites.

6. I'm trying to lose roughly 100lbs through diet and exercise alone. I fully expect this to take at least a year and a half.

7. Just call me the Grammar Nazi. I judge people who use bad grammar, I just can't help it. Please feel free to ridicule me if I ever use bad grammar. Wait, I shouldn't say that...sometimes I do it intentionally to be funny or to make a point. Eh, screw it. Do what you gotta do. (Spelling is different. While I am a fantastic speller, I realize it's just not some people's thing. I can't do math, some people can't spell.)

8. I like to swear. I'm trying to cut back, especially on the f-bombs, but sometimes you just need a good f-bomb. If this offends you, just take this as a forewarning. Sometimes I will swear on here.

9. I love to travel. Part of the reason I'm hesitant to pop out a kid is because I love to travel. To places where kids would be a hassle. And I hate Disney World. And Disney in general. (Well, V12 and I decided that I don't hate Disney. I hate Disney after people stopped animating by hand.) Just as an example, here was my travel schedule last year:
We started the year in Vegas. Literally, I started 2009 in Vegas...we rang in the New Year with about 10,000 of our closest friends on the Strip. In April, I went to Germany to visit my brother and his fiancee. Things were boring until November, when we took a cruise to Key West, Grand Cayman, and Ocho Rios. Exactly one month later, we enjoyed and all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii, courtesy of my husband's company. (Thanks, Babay, for busting your ass to earn that trip!)

10. I love to cruise. Yes, I do consider this to be completely separate from #9. Cruising, to me, is the best vacation for your buck. I went on a cruise in high school (with the marching band, which is a totally different topic), and from then I was hooked. Convinced Babay to go on a cruise for our honeymoon, and he was hooked. I'm always really disappointed when a friend goes on their first cruise and don't become as obsessed as I am. It's happened 3-4 times now. But whatever. V12, T-Bird, and I are taking a cruise next year to celebrate our 30 birthdays today. (Yes, if you've been keeping up, that means I'll be 30 this summer, and then AGAIN next summer. Don't judge me.)

11. I like the idea of being somewhat anonymous on this blog. Pretty much just in name only, though. I'll post pictures and whatnot, and I'm quite sure you'll find out details about my life, but I just feel better without revealing names. I was inspired by Heir to Blair. (Dang, I wish I knew how to do those cool html hyperlink thingy-dos. V12...help?)

12. I have seriously shitty taste in music. I really can't help that, and I make very few apologies for it. Maybe I'll have to do one of those ridiculous, "What's on my iPod!" posts sometime to just to prove this fact as true.

13. I don't take myself too seriously, which can actually be a bad thing sometimes. When I'm at work, I'm always pretty sure I'm about a heartbeat away from being fired. Only adults are allowed to have my job, and I sure as hell don't consider myself a real adult.

14. I'm awesome.

15. I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive. I know that everyone and their grandmother labels themselves OCD these days, and I'm not saying I have a full-on mental illness, I'm just saying that I have more than a few...quirks. Everyone does, so I don't stress it. Just don't judge me for wanting my volume (car, TV, computer speakers, what have you) on an even number or multiple of 5. And definitely never on 13.

16. I have a big family, and we are all nuts, and I love them for it.

17. I love to cook. I'm Southern...I'm sure that is a contributing factor. Every once in a while I'll attempt a new recipe and it becomes a disaster, but for the most part, I'm a pretty fair cook. Babay definitely never goes hungry.

18. I am a Christian. This may conflict somewhat with #8, but everyone has their flaws, right? I am a member of a local congregation and I attend regularly. I also sing in the choir there. I love my church, and I am SERIOUSLY BUMMED my pastor is leaving in June. But, such is the life of a United Methodist. Pastors come and go quite often...sucks when you have someone who is go fabulous.

19. I love to sing. I used to go to a karaoke bar every weekend, but I came to my senses. Not that I wouldn't still go, I just wouldn't go near the places I used to frequent. Seriously, guys...it was bad. My friends and I got to know this one KJ named Betty at a dive bar, and so we followed her around to different bars as she'd take on more karaoke nights. Let's just dicuss some of the places Betty would go. I met her first at Rhoda's. It wasn't SO bad...it was a hole in the wall near where I lived, and it had a "Basement Rec-Room" feel to it. And they took checks. This was important, as I was broke back then and often would write hot checks to cover my bar tab. Rhoda's then came under new management, and there was white-trash drama behind it. So Betty packed up her speakers and mic and started KJing at The Basement Lounge. This was a bar under a 1000-year-old grocery store. It was about 800 square feet of stale, trapped cigarette smoke, as basements don't really have windows, after all! (One day they procured a Fry Daddy, so that added the intoxicating scent of rancid used oil and fried food to the already charming ambience.) The owner, JoAnn, swore she was 60 years old, but she was 105 if she was a day. She stayed drunk, and liked to befriend the black people who would venture in, all while calling them the n-word. Again, new management, white-trash drama, packing up of the mic and speakers, and Betty moves on to what we called The Trailer Bar. I can't remember the real name. Anyway, it was a MOBILE HOME converted into a bar. They cut a hole into the back of the trailer, and built out an expansion made of plywood so that the pool table would have a proper place to rest. This was completely ridiculous. Add in the really dangerous neighborhood, and there's nothing else to say about The Trailer Bar. Then Betty's son bought a bar. Again, terribly dangerous neighborhood, horrible, dirty conditions...it's really quite the scene. It was called Dad's. By this point, I had gotten a job that required me to punch the timeclock before 6:30am, and Betty had decided that weeknights were the new weekend. I would go to Dad's on Thursday nights sporadically, but it made it really hard when the alarm went off at 4:00am. All the regulars started giving me shit for not "supporting Betty" and I just stopped showing up. I could tell you all about the white-trash drama that ensued, and the talking behind my back, but I didn't pay enough attention to it to really have anything to tell. I guess I realized I wanted to be a productive member of society, so I stopped going to places where I might get killed.

20. On the political scale, most would rank me as a liberal. I consider myself to be somewhat moderately liberal. I realize that this is very polarizing, but I never apologize for what I believe. My biggest pet peeve is people who label themselves as Democrat or Republican, conservative or liberal, yet can't tell me why they believe the things they believe. I respect all viewpoints as long as they aren't retarded. But even if your viewpoint is retarded, if you can back it up with intelligent thoughts...I'll respect it. It'll still be retarded, though. And I don't like to shove my viewpoints in anyone's face.

21. I really need to get a shower and get my car down to the dealership so they can fix the recall problems! My appointment is in an hour!

22. Is anyone still reading this?

23. I'm hungry.

24. I totally copped out on these last few items.

25. I halfway apologize for that.

So that's 25 (kinda) things about me! I'm sure if something wasn't covered there, it'll come out sooner or later. And whoever read this entire post (V12, I'm looking at you, since you're my only reader) gets 15 points. Oh yeah...you get points. Sometimes. For some things. They're Awesome Points. First one with 10,000 points wins.

*Tap, Tap* Is this thing on?

Hello? Anyone out there?

So, I'm new here. Not really sure what to do at this point, but I promise I'll learn. I should have started this a while back, but I was really resisting becoming a "blogger". And, truth be told, I am not a fan of the word "blog", just in general. I think it's kinda dumb. But whatever, right?

I really couldn't have picked a worse time to start this, as there is some hectic-ness going on in my life right now, but as with any kind of tragic situation, I'm feeling useless and helpless, so I'll just start here.

You're probably asking yourself what the hell a D.I.N.K is, and why it is that I choose to call myself one. Well, for starters, my best friend V12 (yes *insert real name here*, I have dubbed you V12 for blogging purposes. I am awaiting permission from you to use real names.) came up with it. I cannot take credit. It stands for "Double Income, No Kids". My husband and I are in our 30s (well, I will be very very soon...sooner than I'd like to admit) and we have been married for nearly 3 years. We have yet to procreate. We're not sure if we ever will. We see no reason to, despite all the pressure from The Man. We're happy with our lives as they are, and we have no business having a kid before we're a little more financially stable. (And the next person who tells me, "If you wait until you can afford kids, you'll never have them!" gets the hose. This, I vow.)

My purpose in starting this blog was...well, I'm not really sure, to be perfectly honest! I follow a lot of "Mommy Blogs", and I like hearing birth stories (I do work in Women's Health on the L&D floor, after all!), and I like seeing pictures of cute babies...all that. And I guess because I read one, I start reading others, and the snowball begins. I feel the need to offer a different perspective. Most parents I know always say, "I can't remember what life was like before I had kids!" And they mean that in the most positive way. Well, I'm here to remind you! Not in an in-your-face kind of way, mind you.

So having said all that, here's a little about what you'll probably encounter if you decide I'm not mental and you start following my blog:

Vacations

Work

Juggling work, home, husband, etc.

Weight loss (ughhhhhh)

Complaining (lots of complaining! It's a hobby of mine.)

Knitting

Family (Yes, people with no kids still have families!)

Pets

Blog-stalking

General laziness

I feel the need to add this disclaimer YET AGAIN:

I AM NOT CRITICIZING ANYONE FOR THEIR CHOICE TO HAVE KIDS. I JUST THINK I'M INTERESTING, TOO.

Thanks for reading all that. I promise I'm not this big of a douchebag normally. It'll get better. Stick around and give me a minute...I'll grow on you. If not, my puppy will!