Trash TV

I heart TV. "Hi, my name is Melanie, and I'm a TV Junkie." This is no secret. I've talked about The Sopranos and Sex and the City on here, but I haven't quite delved into my love for trash yet. And I do mean trash. I probably haven't mentioned it because I should be COMPLETELY ashamed I watch such garbage. But I'm not ashamed. Not even a little bit.

Love isn't quite the word I'm looking for here, though. It's more of an obsession. I don't even like some of these shows, yet I can't stop watching.

You might be wondering, "Gee...just what consitutes Trash TV?" I'm glad you asked.

Like many of you, I've noticed the trend towards Jersey-Worship. I can't say that I've really been hooked into "Jerseylicious" or "Jersey Couture", but I sure as hell got sucked into "Jersey Shore" and "The Real Housewives of New Jersey". These shows fall into the category of, "I don't really like them, but I can't stop watching." Jersey Shore really needs no explanation. It's just a trainwreck. Observe:

Crazy as it may seem, I say I love the Real Housewives, but I've only seen a couple of episodes. By the time I found it, they weren't on TV anymore. But let me tell you, I could buy into that. Big hair, big money, big ego, shady mafia connections...sign me up! LOL

I'm also hooked on other train-wrecky shows that feature ACTUAL train-wrecky situations. For instance, Intervention, Hoarders, Little Miss Perfect, Toddlers and Tiaras, and 16 and Pregnant. (Also Teen Mom.) These shows suck you in from the beginning. If you tune in about halfway through, it's possible to change the channel, but I'm convinced that during the opening sequences of ALL these shows, there is subliminal messaging imbedded that will program my mind to watch the entire thing. Try it.

What else? Well...there's Glee. I did love Glee, but it kinda started sucking. I'm really not sure why I even like Glee...I hate musicals. No, wait. Let me rephrase, I would rather poke my eyes out with a toothpick than watch a musical. I probably won't watch the second season.

Trashy talk shows are on the list, too, specifically...Maury Povich. I'm sorry, but it doesn't get any better or trashier than good old Maury Povich. I need to know who the frickin baby daddy is, and I need to see the inevitable blow-up that ensues after the test results are revealed. I'm convinced it can't all be real, though. I mean, really. Seriously? No one really acts like that, do they? Nonetheless, it's quintessential Trash TV.

I'm starting to get all attention-deficit here since I'm blogging at work, so I'll finish this up with a list, in no particular order, of TV shows that I am guaranteed to watch if I see that they are on.

1.  Good Eats
2.  Parking Wars
3.  Pawn Stars
4.  Dateline NBC
5.  20/20
6.  Paula's Home Cooking
7.  The Andy Griffith Show
8.  Roseanne
9.  Mama's Family
10. Full House
11. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
12. The Office
13. Family Guy
14. American Dad
15. Dog the Bounty Hunter
16. Nurse Jackie
17. The United States of Tara
18. The Sopranos (yes, even edited on A&E)
19. Sex and the City
20. Eastbound and Down
21. Big Love
22. Seinfeld
23. The History Channel (I lump them all together, because I will watch this shit all day.)
24. A&E's Biography
25. MTV's True Life

Okay, shit. I have to stop at 25. Looking at all that, when the hell do I have time to do anything else? Damn, I need therapy. Or rehab. But whatever, dude. I don't have kids to schlep all over creation for dance lessons or baseball practice, and I gotta watch SOMETHING while I fold towels and drink coffee. So there you have it. Married people with no kids get to enjoy grown-up TV. So suck on that.